Lessons from Dad, or thoughts on school prayer and the Pledge

My dad wasn't around a whole lot when I was young. As a kid, it was just the way things were. Dad would wake us up for school as he headed out the door; and was usually home for dinnertime. As I got older, it was less noticeable...and if he wasn't home in the evenings, he either got hung up on a service call or because there was a fire or ambulance run he had to go on. And even if the service calls were annoying, the other was okay, because he was helping people.
That was always a source of pride for me. Not only was my dad a fireman, he was an EMT, too. Yeah, he was a mechanic -- and a damn good one, judging by the customers that followed him the few times he changed companies -- and he would eventually let his EMT certification slip for reasons that were his own, but there's still a set of bunker gear in the back of his truck, in case his pager goes off.
A lot of who I am, I owe to my father. Not just the opportunities his hard work afforded me, and not just the things he tried to teach me.There are mannerisms that I've picked up over the years, from giving long-winded explanations to never answering an obvious question without trying to get the person to work it out for themselves. Dropping his voice when he was frustrated instead of raising it. Trying to find the causes for a problem instead of treating the symptoms.
And then there are the things I picked up from watching how he acted. The times he would give people second chances, and the reasons when he wouldn't. The way he never seemed to get angry -- upset and frustrated, yes; but very rarely angry -- unless someone was going to hurt another person. The importance of keeping promises, even implicit ones.
I think that last one is something that gets me in trouble some days; or at least keeps my mouth shut. So, if you really want to know...
Prayer in Schools
I'm all for prayer in schools. But I'm also dead set against the faculty and staff deciding which god (or, if you rather, which version of God) to pray to. And while that's a good part of my reasoning behind it (would you be for prayer in school if you knew that on Wednesdays, your kid would be praying to Hermes at the start of the Public Speaking class?), it really comes down to the basic "give you the answer" vs. "give you the tools to figure it out" debate. That said, as long as there's a belief that it will give them some sort of edge, there will always be prayer in school. Private prayer, between the child and their god; as it should be.
Pledge of Allegiance
When all is said and done; two of the few things it is truly fair to judge someone by are the promises they've made, and the promises they've kept.
Without even getting into the history of the flag salute, or the McCarthy-era changes to it; the Pledge of Allegiance always bothered me growing up. It never felt patriotic, just vaguely disturbing; and that was before we learned what the words actually meant. Why "pledge", and not "give my", "swear", or just plain "promise"? And why "allegiance"? Why swear to the flag first, instead of the nation; and why to the nation instead of the people, or even the ideals? These questions bothered me. And maybe I thought about it too hard; maybe I should have just stood and said the words like everybody else. But the thought of doing that bothered me to; that was making a promise that I didn't really mean. Not that I wouldn't keep it, but without really understanding what you were saying -- and really, what K-4th grader really understands what allegiance is? -- it's just rote memorization. Which is good for multiplication tables, not so much for ideology.
It's the kind of thing that makes me cringe/laugh when I hear the phrase "liberal indoctrination" used in relation to schools; in a "pot, meet kettle" sort of way.
I guess my point is that it's not about trying not to offend other people. But it's not about going out of your way to try to offend them, either. A little consideration is all that you really need, the realization that not everyone thinks or believes the same things that you do.